November 1999
Ours is an unceasing search for symbols that mirror our lives and give flight to our dreams, because we know there is strength in comparisons and magic in the looking glass. In the instant of reflection , there is change in the wind , solace in the flowing seasons, turbulence and calm at sea, and illusive freedom on the wings of birds.....Somewhere, this very moment a solitary wish soars aloft from a corner of the mind and touches down again in silence......and we have wings to fly
November 04 1999
I think I will ride
that shooting star this month. Why not?? My name is Celeste isn't it ? O:-)
Moz..... would you like to come fly with me? We will ride the winds of destiny
together until we come to that shooting star where we will make a life for ourselves.
My heart is a little heavy tonight. I want to be there so much to take care
of you while you are sick. It's so damn frustrating ! If my love is medicine,
then you will be 100% before you know it. I love you my Darling. Prescription:
Vitamins C&B, chicken soup, lots of sleep and a double dose of my love.
ILUVMFBS XXX
November 05 1999
Your words
dispell all the care in the world and make me happy... They are as necessary
to me now as sunlight and air... Your words are my food, your breath my wine
- you are everything to me. (Sarah Bernhardt) We fit each other Moz. We don't
have to explain or argue. We make beautiful music together. It isn't like that
for everybody. I have cried for you knowing that you are mine. I am never really
away from you. Even now I won't leave you, although we won't be seeing each
other this weekend. I will still be the one that loves you beyond measure for
all eternity. Good night my Darling. O:-) I'm glad you are feeling better.
November 06 1999
First
the gates of my heart were unlocked and opened by the touch of your spirit...
From this passage flew love... Love like never a fountain could have poured
to touch you... The sense of that flow coming out of this lonesome soul, this
sleeping soul was in itself blissful... The feeling of possessing love to give
is to me a treasure never foreseen... How can I ever be grateful enough to have
received such a gift... The feeling is more than ever present, the happiness
is still hugging my heart... To truly love without even the need to feel some
in return is my gift... To have known you at the precise moment where it could
all be possible is the first valuable I gained in my life...
How fortunate can I be that you have come to meet me in that garden... More than blissful, there is no word... I have now learned that it is possible to add happiness to happiness... I have now learned that you have opened the gates of your heart and let your love come to me... A second gift as precious as my first... A treasure to hold and preserve... I was zero and became one... I was one and became two... We are two that became one... I now sense the true meaning of soulmates... More than a word it is a bond... Over time and distance there is now a golden bridge between our hearts and souls... Every minute love crosses that bridge and lands in both our beings... True love it is... Unconditional love... Forever lasting love... This is my second valuable gained... I am now the richest man in the world... You are my fortune... XXXXXX
November 07 1999
I
have learned that love is not about conquest. It is about surrender. Whether
it is the surrender to another person, to our deepest natures or to a higher
power, it is the same. It is the pathway through the illusions of life to
the essence of our true nature, to that place or state of being we call
home. You cannot get love, you cannot have love; you can only be love and only
through the generous act of surrender attract it to yourself. What a lesson
huh? So, I surrender to your love Darling, in whatever form it takes, and I
know our love will deepen. I will surrender more and our love will continue
to grow and flourish. And if I surrender even more our love will last.
November 07 1999
The day
will come when, after harnessing space, the winds, the tides, and gravitation,
we shall harness for God the energies of love. And on that day, for the second
time in the history of the world, we shall have discovered fire. I forget where
I read this now, think it was Pierre Tielhard de Chardin. Tonight I am dreaming
of being with you Moz. I am thinking about the "date" I promised you.
A steamy bath, scented oil, candlelight, wine, Joakin Bello music and you and
me. The world will once again collapse around us. I am counting the days. Let's
see, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, then I will be there Saturday afternoon to
hold you once again in my arms. Yesterday was one of those moments that I find
so hard to harness in. The distance between us getting in my way. I am learning,
slowly albeit, to accept things as they are and not as I want them. They say
time is man's angel. So then let time carry me along like a river and until
we can manage time, we can manage nothing else. XXXXXX
November 10 1999
The
world to collapse... The universe to shrink down to one point in your mind...
To set a course on music notes... Following that music to where it leads...
Oblivious of everything... Bliss to me... Moment so rare, so unique... Within
happiness, nothing else... To think you trigger all that... O:-) XXXX
November 16,1999
Because
you let me know you completely. Because you are a mystery. Because you do not
wish to change me. Because you have changed me forever. Because you see the
good and true in me. Because you forgive all else in me. Because you are not
who I expected to love. Because you are just who I need to love. Because you
give me beautiful yesterdays. Because you promise me beautiful tomorrows. I
LOVE YOU O:-) Thank you Darling........ for being there when I needed you.X
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
November 18,1999
A Flower
For You Mozart O:-) Just Because O:-)
November 19,1999
If
we believe that life's circumstances are the cause of your unhappiness and we
try to change those, we will meet greater unhappiness... Once we start changing
ourselves to adapt to these conditions we then can start feeling much better...
Happiness lies within..
November 22,1999
"I read
and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching
endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change
my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me."... Anna Quindlen.
Well....... I feel like I have taken steps in the right direction. I know I
have. But sometimes things get in my way and I have to go the long way around.
But go around I go. You stepped out of the darkness and changed my life also.
Coupled with those things that I have done to find happiness within myself and
the finding the greatest love I have ever known, is guiding me forward. I found
strength in you and me and besides, I promised myself this month to ride a shooting
star. Well Darling, I was riding that star with you into Bliss this weekend
and others will come our way again and again. I know happiness lies within and
I promise never again to forget that. O:-) xxxxxxxxx
November 22,1999
Suddenly
a great white light illuminated my room... Like in a vision, I saw myself on
top of a mountain where blew a wind, not a material one but rather a spiritual
wind... That is when I came to comprehend that I was a free man... Slowly the
ecstasy dissipated... I was lying on my bed... But for a moment I lived in an
other world, a new world of knowledge... I felt the wonderful feeling of a presence
beside me and I thought: «Is this the God of preachers»... BILL
Happiness lies within so does faith... Powerful weapons against self destruction... Their ammunitions might just be love...
November 24,1999
We are each of us angels
with only one wing, to fly we need only embrace each other. Love seeketh not
itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease,
and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair. William Blake. I have faith. In something
greater than us and in us. O:-)
I love you
November 30,1999
So here
we are, the last day of November. Where has the month gone? Days I thought I
could never pull through have passed and here I am none worse from wear. Emotions
affect every part of me. Mind and body, mental and physical, they are all intertwined.
Marcus Aurelius said "And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest
every act of thy life as if it were the last." That is not so hard to understand
is it? So I look forward to the month of December. Now only will I get a chance
to celebrate with you your birthday, but i t will end 1999 and bring in a new
millennium, the Year 2000. We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful
and that's what I plan to do for whatever remaining time I have on the wondrous
planet.
Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as we expect it to be but as it is--is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love.
