Happiness
is not having what you want... It's wanting what you have... Your vision will
become clear only when you look into your heart ... He who looks outside, dreams...
He who looks inside, awakens... October 01 1999
Happiness
is not having what you want... It's wanting what you have... Your vision will
become clear only when you look into your heart ... He who looks outside, dreams...
He who looks inside, awakens...
My Love's kisses leave something to be desired -- the rest of her...
O:-)
Love is
made by two people, in different kinds of solitude. It can be in a crowd, but
in an oblivious crowd. (Louis Aragon) Exploiting communication technology to
the max, we are able to be together, feel each other's closeness without the
physical. Believe me, it has it's virtues. It's magic to me.Moz is magic to
me. It all keeps the blues of separation at bay, harnessed, and under control.
We laugh on the phone, we listen to music, we discuss pics for our website,
send icq messages, and it's almost like when we are sitting together at the
comp. I love you Moz. You are a wonderful man and you make me so happy. Thank
you Darling. As I fly thru each day of my life, he lives in my mind, my heart
and my soul so deeply. He is my serenity. He is my heaven here on earth...
October 02 1999
We are two but we are one... We join spirits, souls and hearts... 
Our togetherness...
October 03 1999
The need
once more to pour my tears on these pages overtakes me. I don't know why these
feelings of despair take hold of my spirit. It has to be all the emotional turmoil
I've been going through lately. I also know that I come from strong Irish stock
and that I am able to "rein" myself in and wear that smile in my heart
that everyone looks for, when I wake up tomorrow.. I hate myself when I bring
these moods to Moz. I shouldn't allow that to happen, but no one understands
me like he does. We also know that it passes. In less than a week I will be
with my love once again. So yes my vision is becoming clearer because I am looking
into my heart. And in there is this beautiful warm feeling of being loved that
Moz put there, just as angels do when they touch your soul. O:-)
I have so much love and faith in you my Love... I know times are rough on you....
If I could send more love and angels I would... There is not a moment that I
do not think of you when you are in turmoil... I would do anything to avoid
you those moments... I am speechless to describe my inner worries... It is natural
to care for the ones you love... I hope everything will go fine....
October 07 1999
There
are angels among us. They surround our lives with love and protection. Know
that they are among us to ease our burdens, shield us from evil, lighten our
hearts, and guide us along our journey. Angels walk by faith not sight. Once
again I have been rescued I am so grateful for their intervention along with
the sweet sweet nature of Moz. His love so reassuring. I know that my angels
sent him to me. I am at peace and looking forward to visiting him again this
long weekend. Good things are happening for the both of us. We must look toward
the heavens and smile for these great gifts for it truly is Thanksgiving. O:-)
October 13 1999
This
is the day I was born O:-) Makes me think of my mother.. She was such a wonderful
mother and her presence will be felt with me today. But even more than that......
You are here with me too Darling. You have done so many great things for me,
spiritually, mentally, and physically. She would have loved you. So today on
my birthday I WISH for a wonderful life with you. Whatever it is going to be.
I love you with all of my heart and soul, and with every inch of my being. Let's
open our hearts to the beauty and mystery of life and let the angels surround
us with love and protection to guide us along our journey together. I WISH that
they watch for our safety, undertake our defence, direct our path, illuminate
our thoughts and minds, and giving us strength to our vision. It warms my heart
to know that we are in their hands. I love you Moz. Thank you for making this
birthday the best one I have ever had. XXXXXXXXX
October 15/16 1999
Such a
lovely logo.Thank you again for designing it for me.O:-) Friday night and I'm
getting ready for bed as my eyes feel like they are in the same hole. LOL .
I have plugged in David Darling and I will sleep on fluffy clouds with pillows
made from angel feathers tonight. So much love in my heart for you . This time
next week I will be with you again Moz and I am like a small child waiting for
Christmas morning. This time last week you and I were dancing in the dark, eating
chocolate cake and I was wearing my birthday suit. LOL. So sleep tight and I
will be waiting for you at our dream spot. You know the one.............. O:-)
October 17 1999
Is it possible to get an overdose of love... It seems very unlikely... Yet I
am experiencing emotions I never had before... More than the newness, I literally
am constantly bombarded by strong feelings... Amazing... In so many areas do
I find we share the same interest... Again, it is more than that... I never
thought I would experience sharing (I don't know the word) events in a parallel
dimension... When I talk to you about these moments, I use the word "weird"
to describe the situation... You always answer that it is only natural for "soulmates"...
I always had a scientific background to refer to and to find my answers... Now,
there is no rational explanation to be found... When coincidence becomes a habit,
it is no longer coincidence... It is breath taking...
Never before did I feel like this... As strongly as I feel now... Never... Lately I have been less present in the adding to Love's Bliss or here, in our journal... I wondered why... Though I feel the urge to add to our little nest, when I open Dreamweaver the inspiration is less than it use to be... I questioned myself on the contradiction I am showing... With help from "the rapist" (I love this one that you have shown me LOL) to gain better knowledge of myself, I can see how my soul is not use to so much emotions and is sort of fighting back... I wrote once that I felt like putting my head out of a car's window at high speed... The wind that snaps your hair, ripples your skin and cool you down is felt strongly for your better pleasure... At the same time, you almost suffocate because of all that air... The same air that you need to live... Too much gets to be the same as too little... There is a similarity with what I am experiencing now... My life has been so empty of emotions and now so many strong ones all at once, it would seem likely that I could react like a starving person in front of a huge meal...
I want it all, but I must pace myself... Thus the words "a day at a time", "baby steps" take more meaning for me now... Looking at it from a distance, I see the Promise Land... I did not know the road to get there was not completely finished... The construction workers are still at it and the pavement needs to dry out before I can go faster... But they are finishing the road and it is drying to better support my feet... My Love, you are my Promise Land... I have asked the workers to do overtime so my road to you, to your love, to Bliss lets me increase my speed... I love you so much...
My sweet
Moz. It is rare that people find their soulmate. I know how hard it is for you
to define all the emotions that swell up within you sometimes. But happiness
can be elusive, so when it is presented to us, we must grab hold of it and not
let go. Don't question the overwhelming feelings of love we have for each other.
Just open the flood gates and let the love flow into your heart. You have it
all Darling. Let's be grateful for every moment. O:-)
October 18 1999
O:-) True, I should not question the feelings I have... Only the side effects
LOLOL... And you know how my mind works... Never a dull moment... But more seriously
(if I can for one minute) I do not question the love I have for you nor the
one I receive from you... And truly I am grateful to have been blessed with
such happiness... This being said, I still need to open my book and read what
is in me and in my reach... I believe that better knowledge of myself can lead
me towards more inner peace and greater love... Though I also believe I will
never reach full knowledge, I strive to increase what I know now... The intensity
and energy I allow myself to spend will diminish, but the quest will most probably
never end...
October 19 1999
Two roads
diverged in a wood, and WE — WE took the one less
traveled by, And that has made all the difference. O:-)
October 24 1999
Each time
you walk out the door, I pray that a band of ministering angels will hover around
you and protect you and shield you from harm. I pray that God will go with you
wherever you go, and you will come back to me safe and sound .I am thankful
for you every moment of my life, and my prayer is to be with you forever.These
thoughts may sound like something I've said before, but I don't care if I repeat
myself. I just wanted to tell you one more time, one more way, how very much
I love you. And if my love is any protection, you will always be safe, my prayer
will be answered, and no harm will ever dare to come near you. Thank you for
another wonderful weekend Darling. My heart is overflowing with love. XXXXX
October 24 1999
A
most delightful weekend... So perfect... Though I had some hesitation about
how your children would react to my presence, everything went so well... You
have great kids sweetie... Something you can be real proud of... The teacher
at work was also fun to watch... I might not have been in the same room but
I could hear your voice... Calm, patient, understanding, joyful, willing to
give... I have to say it was not surprising because I know you like that...
But it makes me proud of you... It makes me love you more... I must not and
will not forget also your talent as a great cook... That lasagna was simply
out of this world... Never tasted such a good one mmmmmmmmmmm... The pleasure
it was to watch Roch Voisine on stage, that marvelous evening with our friends,
dancing with you... The movies we watched together... Everything we did seemed
to have its special moment and place to make it all so perfect... Thank you
my love for such a blissful time... My love for you just grew some more... It
does not seem likely it will ever stop growing...
