May 9th, 2000
I am 9
days late for my promise to make this page... I'm real bad don't you think so...
I woke up this morning and just happened to think about it... I want to thank
you for just being there... The weekend would have been hard for me I think...
At least I felt it would have been... I was in one of those low mood, but you
made it happen... The sun came rushing in me because of you... Thank you love
for being there for me... I love you XXXXXX....
May 10th, 2000
I was there
for you because I always want to be with you no matter what, whenever it's possible.
I love you unconditionally. When you're up, when you're down. When you are hurting,
when you are happy. We are two people making one entity that is stronger than
the both of us on our own. I want to be with you again this weekend but I can't.
O:-((((( You said that we will survive. Yes..... I know that to be logical but
that thought doesn't make it any easier for me. When I love, it's with my whole
being. I'm not good at being lonely. I spent too many years that way. Hopefully
this weekend we will find a way to ease both of our hearts and minds, letting
in more sunshine through all our various methods of staying connected. Looking
at the bright side, next weekend is a long one. O:-) And you know we will be
together again.
May 14th, 2000
It's early
morning Mother's Day. Everyone is still sleeping as it's so quiet giving me
time to reflect on the past year as a mother. There were good times and difficult
times. But I can only say how proud I am of my three children. I have done my
best to give them support, confidence and help along with laughter and love.
The last two years have been so hard for them and I truly am sorry about that.
But that's the way it is and maybe someday they will understand better. I love
them from the depths of my soul. This morning I am feeling rather melancholy
and tears are just in the back of my heart.at a time when I should not be. I
suppose I could voice all the reasons why in here but I'm afraid to write them
down. I miss my own mother. I need her wisdom, love and support. She was the
best........Mom - you will be in my heart and thoughts all day today and every
day. Thank you Mom for being a great example that lets me be a good mother and
also for helping me find the artist within. They are two very fine gifts. I
love you Mom. XXXXX
"...In our life there is a single color,
as on as artist's palette,
which provides the meaning of life
and art. It is the color of love."
MARC CHAGALL
May
23rd - should have gone to bed 20 minutes ago. I tried LOL. Then the
impulsive part of me took over. I went through the entrance to our site and
got lost in all it's beauty, and the music, then I ended up in the journal O:-)
I think that's it's important that we go back to the beginning from time to
time and reflect on just how far the two of us have come together. To feel how
much our love has grown since we started the journal. To stop and remember why
we are, where we are, and to see things through the eyes of the lovers that
put this site together. I think it's also important to a relationship to never
forget all the tears and struggles, and all the laughter and fun of going down
the paths of life's journey through the maze of heart, soul and mind. Moz, your
love light bathes me and warms me to penetrate to the very depths of my very
soul. If it all ended this very night, I would be grateful for every moment,
every kiss, every hug and every I Love You
May
24th - Sometimes when I come home from my Oasis, I just want to run right
back. I know that the time we spend together is always like a honeymoon. And
the reality of coming home is not always easy to take. Although I had a good
day in general, it's this bedtime hour that I am missing you the most today.
I want to feel your arms wrapped around me in that special way only you can
do. Our bodies and souls such a perfect fit. Tonight I hate my computer. I want
to throw it out and replace it with something more tangible. YOU. Good night
my Darling. I will be dreaming of you standing at the Oasis door beckoning me
to enter. XXXXXX Cel
